Tanning the Tummy/ First World Problems

Boy, there are some tummies tanning out there. In some cases the tummies put the owner’s face in the shade People really don’t seem to care anymore about how they look, although I think the average age has dropped a bit since Dubai and there are some more glamorous bodies on display. However, it may just be the ship’s dancers. It is a bit of a relief — I have never felt that confident in a swimming costume but I almost feel slim even after almost a month of eating — so that tells you the scale we are looking at here.

We were supposed to start Bridge today but the clocks went forward again and we found ourselves wondering why there were so few people at breakfast and the staff seemed to be laying for lunch. They are far too polite to say anything. I think we must be suffering from sea lag or something — certainly not seasickness so far. We were sitting watching the- six nations rugby (defeats all round) and it is so still we could have been at home in the sitting room. Yes, they have the rugby too.

So it was a hurtle round the deck motorway. It is not dissimilar to the motorway at home — the tailgaters scream up behind you shouting ‘coming left’ the dawdlers need dodging and the most annoying are the awkward squad going the other way and the ones going at the same pace. You need to speed up to pass and then feel compelled to stay ahead. I told Andrew to pick up the pace as we were even being overtaken by zimmers but he refused, so I said I would go round and catch him up, only to find him, several circuits later (three is one mile), relaxing on a sun lounger and me with two feet with blisters.

The wi fi is driving me bonkers so I will apologise now for spelling mistakes and double copies of blogs but with the minutes and dollars ticking by there is no way back once I have posted it and yes I do know there is an h somewhere in Abu Dhabi,

There was no wi fi yesterday and you would think there was a global emergency. I spent the midnight hours circling the upper deck trying to check that house and dog were intact but just watched the wi fi minutes tick down and a little circle on the screen. I also have to remember what time I am ringing, 4am might not be very popular. Nobody seems to bothered about the about corona virus (apart from the people wanting to get off in Hong Kong) although I saw an American woman quickly donning a face mask after I sneezed a couple of times.

Now the choice of lecture this morning is between the General Lord Dannatt and a lecture on taking selfies……..I kid you not. The General wins. I must ask him what he thinks about Brexit after all he is an independent peer — so he may be a remainer, on the other hand, his may be the breakfast table laid up with the union jack and a couple of flags which I have noticed in the posh section. Brexit has passed almost unnoticed here but my money would be on a shipload of Brexiteers. Little sign of the liberal elite — either they can’t afford it or possibly as we sail past the warring poor countries of the middle east their consciences are too much for them. I do feel somewhat guilty about both the food excess and the waste. However, Our guide in Jordan was almost begging us to come back and visit again as he says tourism is all they have got.

Tomorrow is Colombo and I ask the long suffering men in the internet help room to print out a photo of my parents wedding for me. There is an American lady in there who seems to live there and I am astonished at the patience and polite way the helpers deal with her.

Another wonderful concert by two young girls a violinist and a cellist, Cambiare Duo, and as the American sitting next to me this is a floating hotel punctuated by little delights such as this along the way.

Off to the cocktail party — I need a mantelpiece for all the invitations — they sit among the photos of the children/grandchildren — and then another ball. It is the Mariners Ball tonight and Andrew is threatening to make a sea captain’s hat out of newspaper……..thank goodness we haven’t got any. I think I will wear the blue which dates back to the late 1990s. It is really working this. I have not felt out of place……yet. So glad I didn’t throw it out.

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